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Friday, 26 June 2015

Ifa- Writing ; Jack's Goal

Walt: Write a descriptive text.

Zoom!”. a ball just went in the air. Jack’s kick went through the other players. It skimmed one of the players hair and just went right through the goalkeeper's hands. It was as fast as a car speeding on a open road. The opponents were so scared, they couldn't even touch it.

Jack was celebrating his goal. Jack was hopping on one foot in a circle. He was fist pumping his hands in the air one by one. His team was rushing to him and jumping on his back. He did a backflip and ran up and down the field. He was walking like there was something in his left pocket. He screamed as loud as a lion’s roar.

The game was tied, Jack and the opposing team was  tired too. They couldn’t breathe. Jack felt like he had asthma from running and chasing the ball. Both teams felt like they were unfit. Some of the players waited for a little bit then started playing.

After three minutes Jack’s teammate stole the ball. He ran and passed it to Jack. Jack kicked it and it hit the goalkeeper’s head. The goalkeeper laughed and then suddenly he saw the ball rolling into the goal area. Jack couldn't believe it.

Another goal, another win. That was the last game of the season.


  1. Talofa Lava Ifa,
    I think that this is a great story to write about happiness and excitement. I like your descriptive paragraph because it shows me that he is happy. My story was about a girl who got the main role in a play. Do you know how to start your story off with a question?

  2. Kia Ora Ifa.
    It was really call when you wrote your Descriptive writing about Jack. I hope you had fun writing this story.